What is happiness?

Its a question I keep asking myself over and over again, what is happiness? and I really can't put my finger on it. I've struggled for so long to just be happy and content with life, time and time again I seem to think I'm alright and then BOOM! I decide I need something else. I just don't get it anymore.

One example of this is my pursuit of a Relationship. Some might call me unmanly but  my biggest fear in life is to die alone, never to have loved or been loved by that one person in life who meant the most to me. Day in day out I struggle to see God's plan for my life and what he has in store in terms of a spouse and in terms of love. Usually I'm very insightful in these posts and I try and challenge you my readers with something but today I really don't have anything. I always say that God has a plan and yet I fail to see the plan that he has for my own life. I fear the unknown as I think many people do. Something about the idea that I am not in complete control of my own life scares me in a way, but at the same time it excites me. I still have plenty of this adventure called life left. I guess I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.