Rise Up

Where do I begin?.....It seems such a long time since I even touched this.....and it has been. I guess I'll just share what is on my heart. I've been through my share of trials lately and it almost seems ironic that my last post on here was about letting go and giving control to God. All that being said God has been grabbing at my heart lately. See I'm a Christian but really...what does that even mean? In today's society? Do people really think I'm different or do they look at me and go "pfft...that sucker aint no different from me or anyone else"? I look at my generation today and I see hurt and I see pain. I see so much seeking in the forms of alcohol, drugs, sex, money, and fame, when all that we're really looking for is God. We look at our lives and say "this isn't good enough","I want more", "there's got to be more than this". AND. WE. ARE. RIGHT!


"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." ~ Matthew 7:7

How often do you look at someone and ask them "How are you?" and get a response more than just "I'm fine"? How often does someone share with you what is truly on their heart whether they are struggling or thriving? It doesn't happen. We live in a world where we've been trained to put on a mask. To hide our true longing behind the masks of the things we do and the ways we live. When really, our one true longing is relationship with our creator, with a God who loves us and cares about us and will NEVER leave us nor forsake us.

Wanna know another thing that I see when I look at our generation? I see rebels. This can be both a blessing and a curse, a weakness AND a strength. We are a generation who has grown up rebelling. Rebelling against our parents. Rebelling against societal norms. and most of all rebelling against our own longing for God. What would happen if we took that rebellious nature and turned it into one of our biggest strengths? What would happen if we became rebellious for God? If we sought after him and his will for our lives with such reckless abandon that we rebel against the pressures of this world? See I'm one of those rebellious people. I've grown up in a Christian home and been taught to live a Christian lifestyle all my life. I didn't listen. Sure I let people see me that way if that's how they wanted to see me but that wasn't who I was. I go out to hangout with my buddies and it's almost like I throw everything I know to be true aside. I don't set a good example and for that I am extremely sorry guys. That ends NOW. God has placed on my heart that it is time to rise up, to stop putting on the masks of the world and take a stand. I look at our generation and I see a generation who has the ability, and more than that, the will power to be one of the strongest Christian generations in the history of this planet.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us," ~ Hebrews 12:1

About a month ago my girlfriend and I broke up. Some of the words she left me with were "Don't settle, keep climbing." I can't say I was really happy with the decision or those words. What did they even mean? God kinda has a funny way of working one people doesn't he? Turns out that those words burned at my heart more than any woman ever could. Was I really settling? was she? what were we settling for? eventually I became so broken and so lost that I had no where to turn to but God. I can definitely tell you I didn't want to. Like I said earlier it goes back to my "Letting Go" post. I struggle with letting go but slowly I am. God is putting me back together...again. Heck, I feel like Humpty Dumpty, except I don't have all the kings men working on me, I...have the king himself. Anyhow, as God has been putting me back together those words have still be eating at my heart. "Don't settle, keep climbing." God has called me to take a stand against the ways of this world. 'Cause guess what? this is not where I belong and it's not where you belong either.


Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness ,and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one .And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ~ Ephesians 6:10-17
TTFN Folks

Letting Go

Have you ever held on to something so hard and so long that when you try to let go your fist is stiff and refuses to unclench itself? If no then try it, take one of your hands and clench it around the pointer finger of your opposite hand as hard as you can for a minute or two, then remove your pointer finger but keep your hand clenched, lastly slow let your hand unclench. Does it feel stiff and ungiving? I think that's they way letting go of just about anything can feel. We try our hardest to hold on to things because we are afraid of losing something that was once there but is now gone, or we are mad and we hold on to our anger because we are stubborn. The problem with holding on is that the longer we hold on to things, by the time we finally realize enough is enough and we need to let go, we have a hard time doing it because that thing that we have become so used to holding on. We clench up and in the end it causes more pain that it would have in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, when we lose someone or something, there IS a grieving process that we all must go through and will go through, and that process takes different amounts of time for everyone. That being said, there comes a time when we need to be able to let go and give it to God. This is something that I have struggled with A LOT recently. I went through a rough break-up this summer. Honestly, I was not ready to let go when it happened and I fought it for weeks after it occurred. Then I started to go through a time of anger and resentment. I am just now starting to get out of this stage. My problem however is that I have, until recently, been unwilling to let go and give control to God. This is ironic to me because before the break-up I had been struggling to give control to God with another choice in my life, which was whether or not I would be going back to Kuyper College this fall. I had finally come to the conclusion that I just needed to let go and let God and honestly I thought I did a pretty good job. Guess not huh? 

All in all, I don't have a guaranteed formula for letting go of the things that are holding us back. I wish I could say I have all the answers but that would mean I'm not human and I don't need God and that is clearly NOT the case. Letting go is a process, but it is also something that requires the help and peace that only God can give. Hebrews 12:1 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" Not only does this verse tell us that we should set aside and LET GO of everything the weighs us down but we should do so in order to set an example for those around us. We are indeed surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses and many of those witnesses are fellow believers! Let's not be afraid to confide in them! One of the biggest helps for me was when I was able to share what I was going through with a great friend and mentor of mine. After we got all done talking and I was completely spent emotionally he turned to me and said "Ryan, do me a favor, Next time call me sooner." We were not meant to carry our burdens on our own. As fellow believers we are called to help one another in our times of trouble and sometimes this means helping each other let go. My challenge to you my readers is this. If ever you find that you are having trouble letting go of something, don't go about it alone! at a bare minimum bring it before God. Cry out to the God who loves you and say "I CAN'T HOLD ON TO THIS ANY LONGER! HELP ME!"1 John 5:14-15 says "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him" and once you have done that, if you feel comfortable, confide in a fellow brother or sister in Christ. Supporting one another is one of the things we are called to do.

Until next time folks,
TTFN

Surrender

Have you ever had one of those times where you are just so far down that you feel like you can't move? find it hard to breathe? to think? I had one of those times a few days ago. I hardly even knew what was going on. The events of the day just had me so down that I refused to even think and went into robot mode. One of the things that I struggle the most with is surrender. No matter what I go through, no matter how hard it is, I just can't bring myself to surrender it to God sometimes.  This day was no different.

Looking back on it I find myself so blessed to live around the people that I do and be immersed in the amazing community of Kuyper College. The thing that finally turned me around and made me decide to surrender it to God? A discussion with a beloved friend and former faculty member of Kuyper. I'm going to dearly miss this person around Kuyper and I am sad to see them go. When I heard that they were being let go I immediately started to question what was going on and why this was happening. Why was God taking away a person that I found it so easy to talk to about my life? I just surrendered everything to him and this is how he repays me? That's how I felt all day. Then, sitting here about 30 minutes ago I remembered my conversation with said person. I remembered how they told me that everything is in God's hands and we just have to be willing to let him work. So I sat down and I once again embraced surrender. Embraced a God who is willing to take my pain, sorrow, and anger,  and replace it with peace. An everlasting peace that I can't even begin to describe.

Why do we find it so hard to surrender sometimes? Those of us who have done it, know that we need to and we know the sense of peace that washes over us because of it, yet somehow we still don't want to do it. Is it the part of human nature that to some extent makes us all control freaks? This is my challenge to you my readers: Let it go. It's as simple as that. Let it go. If there's something you're holding onto and you're afraid of surrender just let it go. Give it to the God who loves you and cares for you. The one who will never lead you astray. Put your life in his hands. Because I can promise you that the peace that will wash over you will be beyond your wildest dreams.

To the person that I had my discussion with, if you're reading this, you know who you are. You will be dearly missed at Kuyper College my friend and I will never forget you. Nor do I think, will a lot of the other students and faculty. May God grant you peace in this hard time and may you embrace him even now as he reaches out and embraces you. Go with God.

Fuel

The other day I was driving down the highway when I noticed that my gas was running quite low. I pulled off at the nearest exit and stopped at the closest gas station I could find. To my relief gas was quite cheap at only $3.12 per gallon. Being the poor college student that I am, getting gas can tend to be stressful to think about.

While sitting in my room yesterday I also came to the conclusion that I was low on another kind of fuel. All the go go go of school and work and being social had completely worn me out. When one of my friends asked me if I wanted to hangout, I flat out told them no because I honestly didn't have anything left in me. I was burnt out. Eventually I laid down and just took a nap.

"Where is he going with all this?" is what you're probably thinking. Well today while sitting in one of my classes that I was having a hard time focusing in, I came to the realization that there was one more type of fuel I was quite low on, spiritual fuel.  All the go go go had not only worn out my physical energy but because of the go go go, I was failing to allow myself the much needed time with God. One thing that I've noticed while attending Kuyper College is that when you are going to school to go into ministry it is very easy to justify not spending a lot of time directly with God and in the word, by telling yourself that since you do that every day for class, you don't really have to do it in your spare time. The reality is, that just isn't the case. In neglecting to spend personal time with God and in the word, I am missing out on an important detail of my spiritual life. I think it's safe to say that we all do this at times to. We get caught up in the busyness  of life and we can't even take 5 minutes out of our day to stop and commune with the one who's love for us is so great that he DIED for us!

After noticing how much I had been neglecting my spiritual life, I decided that I needed to do something about it. I haven't come up with a plan yet, but I know that if I don't lay down a plan of action and set out a time slot in which I declare "this is God's time", I'm never going to be able fuel myself spiritually. My challenge for you is this and perhaps you're already doing it. Take 5 minutes out of your day, Any 5 minute time slot, it can be before bed, it can be right when you wake up, it can be before you eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner, it can be any time. But take 5 minutes out of your day and devote them to God. I mean when you think about it, it's not that hard to do. There are 1440 minutes in a day. Until next time folks, TTFN, tah tah for now

Answering

You ever have it where you're texting someone or chatting with them on facebook and they just seem to fall off the face of the planet? Like they're ignoring you or something? I had that happen to me today. I wouldn't say it something unusual because it happens all the time and it's usually just an accident or a miscommunication but the instance today really struck me. If you're anything like me then it probably peaves you  when someone suddenly stops talking to you or just doesn't answer a text. I was sitting here pondering my annoyance and  suddenly realized that God probably feels the same way sometimes.

Think about it, if you're a Christian you have a prayer life right? Do you think maybe it annoys God or possibly saddens him when we suddenly stop talking to him or forget about him? I know it would do that to me if I were God. As humans we strive for relationships but I don't think it's strictly because we're human, in fact I think it would be safe to say that we inherit that trait from God himself. God wants nothing more than to be in a thriving growing relationship with his children (us). So next time you feel like your being ignored or your conversation suddenly stops flowing, think about all the times that you may have ignored God. God wants to talk to you, so just give him a chance.

I think thats about all for this post.

TTFN folks, tah tah for now =]

What is happiness?

Its a question I keep asking myself over and over again, what is happiness? and I really can't put my finger on it. I've struggled for so long to just be happy and content with life, time and time again I seem to think I'm alright and then BOOM! I decide I need something else. I just don't get it anymore.

One example of this is my pursuit of a Relationship. Some might call me unmanly but  my biggest fear in life is to die alone, never to have loved or been loved by that one person in life who meant the most to me. Day in day out I struggle to see God's plan for my life and what he has in store in terms of a spouse and in terms of love. Usually I'm very insightful in these posts and I try and challenge you my readers with something but today I really don't have anything. I always say that God has a plan and yet I fail to see the plan that he has for my own life. I fear the unknown as I think many people do. Something about the idea that I am not in complete control of my own life scares me in a way, but at the same time it excites me. I still have plenty of this adventure called life left. I guess I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Love

      Love...It's an interesting word isn't it? We use it to describe things we like such as our cars, houses, or even a piece of food. We use it to describe our feelings for one another, "I love you" being the phrase of choice. But how often do we really mean what we say? Love is such a confusing word that even a person with a doctrat in English doesn't fully understand it. Why is this? Why are so many people able to give 10 million different definitions of love but still fail to grasp its true meaning? It is because they do not have a relationship with the giver and provider of true love. As overused as it seems John 3:16 sums it up pretty clear "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Even better than that is the fact that his love is Never! Ever! going to leave us. Marriage is supposed to be for a life time but then you see all kinds of people getting divorced, A relationship with God is for eternity and divorce isn't an option.  Romans 8: 38-39 says "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Now how awesome is that?!?!?! 


      This week has been extremely stressful for me. From learning to interact with a new team of people to struggling with being away from my friends and family for an entire summer. I can honestly say that the only thing that has kept me going through all of this is the love that I find in God. I chose to be away in St. Louis this summer because God loves me and has a plan for my life and I want to follow that plan. I know there are going to be struggles this summer. I know that there are going to be times when I just want to give up and quit. But I also know that I will always have one thing to keep me going, one thing to lift me up when I'm down, one motivation for doing what I do, and that one thing is God's love. If you're reading this it is my prayer that you may bask in the love that God has for you. Live for that love! Eat, sleep, and breathe, For. That. Love. Because I can assure you that there is nothing more fulfilling in this life.